Guy displays his acorns at “Chipmunks” screening

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Edward L. Brown

Edward L. Brown

David Seville can’t blame AAAALVINNN! for showing off last Thursday at a suburban Chicago movie multiplex.

Instead, a 34-year-old man has been charged after he allegedly made an all-over appearance in front of kids watching Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

Police in North Riverside, Illinois were sent to North Riverside Park Mall’s Classic Cinema upon hearing of a man inside the theater in the altogether. Two officers, who were patrolling inside the mall, responded within a minute.

When they arrived at Theater No. 2, said police, they spotted Edward L. Brown, 34, sitting in his birthday suit in the front row watching the 4 p.m. screening.

Brown, a Chicago resident, walked in front of the audience totally naked about 30 minutes after the movie started, a witness told police. He turned to face the crowd and stretched his hands (and possibly some other bodily parts). He went back to his seat after displaying his assets to 96 moviegoers, including many children, police said.

Police stated that they immediately began to usher patrons out, They then ordered Brown to put on some clothes. Brown was arrested without further incident and escorted out the fire entrance.

The theater manager halted the Chipmunks flick and issued refunds or vouchers to another show.

Police reported that Brown told officers that an unknown female had let him inside the theater for free. She allegedly told him to be seated in the front row, doff his raiment and wait for her so that they could have sex, smoke crack and do heroin.

However, North Riverside Police Chief Anthony Garvey said he couldn’t confirm details of that. Brown’s statements to police were made after he was given his Miranda warning, and North Riverside police policy bars the release of such statements.

Brown was charged with three felony counts of sexual exploitation of children, aged 4, 6 and 6; one misdemeanor count of sexual exploitation of a minor aged 14; and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct.

At a Maybrook courthouse hearing, a Cook County judge set Brown’s bail at $100,000. Brown remains in jail.

He next faces the public next Monday in the Maybrook courthouse.

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