Guy displays his acorns at “Chipmunks” screening

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Edward L. Brown

Edward L. Brown

David Seville can’t blame AAAALVINNN! for show­ing off last Thurs­day at a sub­ur­ban Chicago movie multiplex.

Instead, a 34-year-old man has been charged after he allegedly made an all-over appear­ance in front of kids watch­ing Alvin and the Chip­munks: Chip­wrecked.

Police in North River­side, Illi­nois were sent to North River­side Park Mall’s Clas­sic Cin­ema upon hear­ing of a man inside the the­ater in the alto­gether. Two offi­cers, who were patrolling inside the mall, responded within a minute.

When they arrived at The­ater No. 2, said police, they spot­ted Edward L. Brown, 34, sit­ting in his birth­day suit in the front row watch­ing the 4 p.m. screening.

Brown, a Chicago res­i­dent, walked in front of the audi­ence totally naked about 30 min­utes after the movie started, a wit­ness told police. He turned to face the crowd and stretched his hands (and pos­si­bly some other bod­ily parts). He went back to his seat after dis­play­ing his assets to 96 movie­go­ers, includ­ing many chil­dren, police said.

Police stated that they imme­di­ately began to usher patrons out, They then ordered Brown to put on some clothes. Brown was arrested with­out fur­ther inci­dent and escorted out the fire entrance.

The the­ater man­ager halted the Chip­munks flick and issued refunds or vouch­ers to another show.

Police reported that Brown told offi­cers that an unknown female had let him inside the the­ater for free. She allegedly told him to be seated in the front row, doff his rai­ment and wait for her so that they could have sex, smoke crack and do heroin.

How­ever, North River­side Police Chief Anthony Gar­vey said he couldn’t con­firm details of that. Brown’s state­ments to police were made after he was given his Miranda warn­ing, and North River­side police pol­icy bars the release of such statements.

Brown was charged with three felony counts of sex­ual exploita­tion of chil­dren, aged 4, 6 and 6; one mis­de­meanor count of sex­ual exploita­tion of a minor aged 14; and one mis­de­meanor count of dis­or­derly conduct.

At a May­brook cour­t­house hear­ing, a Cook County judge set Brown’s bail at $100,000. Brown remains in jail.

He next faces the pub­lic next Mon­day in the May­brook courthouse.

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